Say it out LOUD!!!

My blog is no longer a secret to you...And I'm sure by the time I post this you've gone all giddy about me writing about you again..Go figure! =P LOL!
So here goes..When I'm with you everything has this feeling of perfect. Every moment we share is wrapped in fancy paper and bright colored ribbons. It doesn't matter if we only have a second or 2-hours to gaze at each other. What matters to me is the things we do together to make up for lost times. All the small talks..the late night coffee..the phone calls..the short visits and the effort to cook mean the world to me. I melt when I see your smile. My heart is in ecstasy even with just the thought of you. Words are not enough to describe the intensity of my feelings toward you. It's not everyday that you meet your perfect Starfish..I love you and yes I'm confessing it to the world. =)

P.S.
I can see you smiling =P hehehe..

K

Since my current crave to tweet for the past months, I have forgotten how much I've loved to blog. Even in real time, I've forgotten how much I've loved to write stories about what has happened in my life. I think it was because I lacked a little drive...a small push..an inspiration.
Things can change with a blink of an eye. Unexpectedly something amazing can blow you away and spark things up for us. I found my spark before the year 2010 ended. It's that spark that keeps me hoping for a great tomorrow and a beautiful today.

Love is something I am not in mutual grounds with. I don't enjoy it as much as others do. Growing up, my parents would wonder how on earth did I ever end up so cold and gloomy when they're both so warm and loving to their children. Beats me! I think it was my fondness for staying in one corner of a room either reading a book or making stories. But something or someone came into my life and surprised me. He taught me that even the hardest person can open their hearts to a world full of butterflies and cherubs.
I am still that deep, dark girl who sits on the corner of the room only this time I've found my glow. No matter the distance...No matter how hard they try to break us apart...I am happy that you still stood by me. Things may not be as you planned but what matters is the understanding we share.
I do not regret the day I fought for us. You did the same for me. Thank you for the love and support you've given me. I'm a lucky girl to have met someone like you. Love is just one element of our Happiness, but it's one of the best that reminds us of our promise. Trust is what keeps us strong and holding on. Loyalty is the key we keep to look forward for what's to come.
A day may have 24 hours, but I am content for now to seeing you even for just an hour or merely 10 minutes...for in that short of time, you know that you're still the reason I smile...I am still the reason for your skip beats.

Death by Chocolate

If I die an untimely death. It'd be because of these deadly sweets. *evil laugh*

Sad..

Nine years ago I got sick and thought I was saying good bye forever. I was 16 and did not fear death. I was diagnosed to have Hodgkin's Lymphoma (an illness involving an increase in my white cell count) by almost every Hospital in my hometown. To assure my doctors, family, and myself that there is still hope for better results; they sent slides to the big city and the US. I didn't suffer much the next six months. I just hated the fact that everyone was being nice to me and took care of me in an extreme manner. Example, I could only eat vegetables..In school, I couldn't leave the premises unless I was picked up by the driver after classes. Imagine how a 16 year old would react to this? Then came the much awaited results. I had Necrotizing Lymphadenitis. It was a rare illness for girls who don't have a healthy diet. It may lead to something worse, but all in all I was okay. It was pretty much a miracle.

Lately, I've noticed a few abnormal things happening once again in my life. I've been having difficulty sleeping at night and tend to be extremely tired during the day. I've been really pale this past few days. And I'm not talking about my usual pale color, I'm seriously dead white. I've lost a lot of weight without the efforts of exercise. My eating habit has gone hay wire, I don't eat that much but I feel hungry all the time. I thought this was all psychological symptoms. But I've been feeling depressed even though I know I'm not. It's been years since I've experienced all these.

I'm scared. I don't know why I am, but I am. Never have I been this open about what I've been through. I think I'm scared because for once in my life you came along when everything in my life was all set. I was ready to reach out into the world. I was up for anything God threw my way. What I wasn't prepared for is you coming into my life and making it wonderful.

I pray to God, not now. Not when I'm happy.

Losing Faith

I woke up this morning on the wrong side of the bed. I didn't want to move at all. I was feeling heavy. I thought to myself is this what I get for being so happy the past months?

See, last weekend I went to this orientation thing about how getting a student visa is a faster way to work abroad. I was so devoured by the lecture that I even started working on my papers both for student and working visa. I kept myself busy the whole week. I've renewed my licenses..paid my taxes..even received my much awaited certificate of employment. I was so hyped about my plans..then it hit me..YOU!

You are the one person I did not expect to come into my life. Life was easier for me. I only had to think of myself. I could be selfish and no one would mind. But you came into the picture and brought color into my world of gray and white. You taught me how to smile again. You opened my hidden heart. You made me happy..

How can something this wonderful make me feel so selfish? When everything seems to be on the right track I thought of you. You are such a nice person to push me to follow my dreams. I feel so blessed to have someone as understanding as you. But how come it doesn't feel right? How come I'm too scared to take the next leap? After all this time, Distance was the only thing that shook me.

I pray each night that God would give me a sign. I trust you with all my heart. But I have to admit to myself that I still am scared...I'm still that little girl who needs to be assured that everything will be just fine.

Bits of today (01/15/11)

So my cousin, Sebastian and his friends will be arriving in a few hours from China. They'll be spending their school break here in the Philippines. I think it's cool that they chose Sebastian's Half-home. By half-home I'm pointing out that he's from France and that his half-French and half-Filipino. Now how cool is that..again? When you put us cousins in one room you somehow see a bunch of kids from the united nations. We have something different from each other. Take my sister for instance, she looks way Chinese.
Anyway, as I was saying my French cousin and his friend will be here for two weeks. We've filled-up their days with activities from out-of-town trips..to parties..to island hopping ^_^ It'll be fun-filled for sure.